Next week my wife will celebrate another birthday.  It would likely be in my best interest not to tell you how old she will be.  Like me, she grew up in a family with several other siblings.  Like many of you, she can recall the fun and trouble that they used to get into as children.  My kids love one story that she has shared from her past.

That one story can relate to how many of you feel today when it comes to your finances, careers, relationships, and life in general – you feel like Stretch Armstrong.  Right away, many of you asked, “who is Stretch Armstrong” and others of you just showed your age!

She shares the story of how she and her twin sister decided that they would see why ol’ Stretch could really stretch.  I may have the story all wrong as to what happened, but they cut this toy man so they could find out that he was filled with a gel type substance.  I am not not sure why they did that and they may not even remember, but it reminded me of – you.

The reminder of that toy shows me what many of your are expriencing today.  What feels like from all four limbs, you are stretched as far as your can go.  Any more and others will see what you are made of inside.

Too much debt, living beyond your wage, trying to accomplish what your neighbors or family members are doing, struggling to provide a future for your children and yourselves – you are stretched and you are feeling it.  Would you agree it is not a fun position to be in?

There is a better way.  Most of you are being stretched and you have no plan for retuning you back to normal.  You are not sure what needs to be done or what it is going to take, but you are looking to a release from your present position.

Did you know that you can get back there?  Yes, you really can but you have to make some tough decisions.  You have to first decide you are tired of living like this and you are open to making the changes in yourself that need to occur.  You need a plan – for your finances, your career, and your life.

When Stretch Armstrong was stretched it would take some time to return him to his normal shape.  Your plan is going to take time, but you have to be released of the hold now to move forward.

Stretch was really only good for so much stretching before he would show you what he was made of.  What about you?  How much more stretch do you have?

A friend sent this to me yesterday…..

Recently I received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad  attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird’s mouth was  rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. I tried and tried to change the bird’s  attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and  anything else I could think of to “clean up” the bird’s  vocabulary.

Finally, I was fed up and I yelled at the parrot. The parrot  yelled back. I shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. So,  in desperation, I threw up my hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the  freezer.

For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and  screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet.

Not a peep was heard for over  a minute. Fearing that I’d hurt the parrot, I quickly opened the door to the  freezer.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto my outstretched arm and said,  “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m  sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to  do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable  behavior.”

I was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude.

As I was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his  behavior, the bird continued,

“May I ask what the turkey  did?”

I hope you have a blessed Thanksgiving and that you have so much to be thankful for.  You know, you really do!!

Seven years ago, November 15, 2003, my wife and I committed to getting our financial life in order.  I can remember a few things about that day, but one thing I recall is our level of commitment.  I recall that because I see clients who are partially committed, just like my wife and I.  You make a decision, but too many things influence your ability to discipline yourselves and you wind up right back in the same mess you started in.   Lisa and I, I am quite sure, were no different.  However, the greatest day in our financial lives came less than 48 hours after our Saturday decision.

Many might not understand but what happened that day, November 17, 2003, changed our lives forever.  It was that day that I was laid off.  Honestly, that day was not one that I look back and say I would like to experience regularly nor that I would want anyone else to experience, but it is the day that turned our future around.

Two things happened that day.  First, I recognized for the first time in my life I did not have a plan B.  Secondly, and equally important was that my loss that day was what made us change our level of committment that we made just two days earlier.

Not knowing what we would do next made us significantly reduce our commitment to getting out of the debt mess we created, getting on a solid plan, and being financially positioned to do what we would be required to do in the future.

Do not misundertand, I did not sit down and say, “this is great, it is wonderful to be unemployed”.  In fact, it was a tough few weeks of uncertainty that many today are going through.  However, what it did was make us look at everything and cut back drastically where we needed to.

Today, so many people do not cut all that they can.  As I mentioned in my earlier blog, The Misconception, too many people feel that they can get things on track without some wholesale changes in their financial lives.  It does not work that way and, fortunately, we found that out.

Looking back today, seven years later, it was a great day.  Today, I am married to my wonderful debt free wife, with three debt free children, living in a debt free house and helping others become just like us – debt free.

What was, or will be, the most important day in your financial life?  Jack Welch used to teach us at General Electric, “Control your own destiny, or someone else will”.  Who is controlling yours?

Twitter, Facebook, Myspace – the list goes on and on.  Are you part of the social media craze?  I am, I guess.  My Twitter presence was first and Facebook quickly followed.  Honestly, I spend very little time on either.  They are linked together and I do most of my activity on Twitter.  To further be honest, I only have both for my business.

Honestly, it gets kind of boring seeing people who are eating here, shopping here, tired of this person, hate that person, love that person, I am too hot and today I am too cold.  How did we ever get here?  Let me say, I am not against any of the tools.  I do believe that they can be used very productively.  However, do you ever stop to see what you are saying?  Do you ever stop to think that your contributions will be avaialable and searchable for anyone to see?

Many times it is fun to see how you are being blessed.  Pictures of your kids or grandkids, where you are traveling, new friends you have met, etc.  Social media can be used in a fun way.

Recently I viewed a post where the individual indicated they hated their job.  Wow, if I was their manager I would helped give them the time they needed to find another.  Others cryptically comment on other people, other families, and other organizations.  Do you know others, outside your sphere of “friends”, will be able to see those things.

You see our words will haunt you.  In this day of digital media, remember one important thing – all of it is being stored.  It will be available for others to see for the future.

What about when you land that big job interview, you know, the one you have always wanted.  Your interview goes fabulous and after the interview the hiring manager asks the question, “I wonder if this person uses social media?”  Ask yourself, what will they find out about you?   Will they pick up the phone and want you to start tomorrow or will they just pass and see who else they can find?

I guess after this post my friends and follower list’s will be shorter.

This book, by  Robert J. Bernabe, should be required reading before anyone can qualify for a mortgage or refinance.  Written in simple terms with work forms for readers to use, Bernabe portrays what is wrong with the mortgage industry – most people have no idea what they are doing or how to find the best mortgage for themselves.

Through the last several years, many people have helped me learn that, in general, people have no idea what they are buying when trying to obtain a mortgage.  Most people are solely concnerend with the interest rate and pay no attention to the type of loan, additional costs, whether they can pay for the loan and what they bring to a mortgage from their past credit history.  Honestly, like people shop for cars they shop for their mortgage – what is the monthly payment amount.

I loved the author’s description of people living their lives one of two ways – intnetionally or accidently.  Wow, what a true picture.

One of Bernabe’s final chapters is titled exactly what I have been telling clients for years – Own Your Home, Don’t Let It Own You.  Without all the pieces in place, many Americans find themselves being owned by the house that they live in.  Earlier this year, I met with several who were prepared and willing to purchase a new house because the government was going to “give” them a few thousand dollars.  In every instance, we broke down whether they could afford the house right now.  In almost every case, even with the “gift” from the government, the answer was no.

I would suggest this book to anyone, again, contemplating a mortgage or a refinance.  There is nothing wrong with a mortgage or a refinance – but do your homework and make sure either is right for you right now.

This past Monday was a big day.  I had been invited to attend the Get Motivated Seminar in Atlanta.  Many were going to be there and the speaker list included Colin Powell, Lou Holtz, Steve Forbes, Bill Cosby and Rudy Guilliani.  My big excitement was that I was going to have the opportunity to meet Zig Ziglar.  For years Zig has been motivating people around the world.  As it turns out, I was fortunate to meet not only Zig but his daughter Julie and the Red Head.

Due to an accident a couple of years ago, Zig is not the same person he once was.  However, he still has it.  I think I could have talked to him for hours.

It was interesting that while we had never met that I was treated just like someone he had known all his life – not only by Zig, but with his wife and Julie.  What a great family.

As I came around the corner at what appeared to be the 50-yard line of the Georgia Dome, Zig extended his hand and I introduced myself.  The next words out of his mouth were, “you need to write a book.”.  It was like he had been waiting on me just to tell me that.  Did he really know what I had in my pocket?

I explained to him that the book was in progress and I had a copy to give him.  When I said that he asked me, “does is encourage people and do you use the word encourage?”.  Frankly, I wanted to say yes, but could not as I wanted to make sure first.  His words of encouragement to me were that people today and everyday are looking for someone who will encourage them.  People want encouragement.

After some time together, we parted as he was coming on stage.  As he spoke, I looked around to the 10,000 plus people in attendance and it dawned on me – we are all here looking for encouragement.  The encouragement we were looking for was to come from the leaders speaking that day.  I am not sure who left encouraged, but this ol’ boy did.

How about you.  Do you need encouragement?  Are you encouraging those you are around?

Zig truly encouraged me to keep helping people with their finances, their careers, and with their life goals.