As a Dave Ramsey Certified Counselor, I like to occasionally listen to Dave’s radio program.  I get the podcast and, if my schedule allows, I like to listen to what is happening to people all around the country.   Recently, I was deeply saddened by an email that he read on his broadcast.  It may have been a repeat and originally aired some time ago, but the issue is something that I see too frequently in my business.

Dave read the letter that shared, from a listener, how his/her friend had recently killed herself.  It appeared that the husband, while now dealing with the death of his wife and the future of raising his children alone, was hit with even more devastating news.  It appears his wife had mismanaged the finances to the point that payment on bills were late and  more to the point that that their house had been foreclosed on.  Facing eviction very close to, if not immediately after, his wife’s funeral had to be unbearable.  From the note, it was apparent that he had no idea to the seriousness of their financial situation.  The wife, and for possibly more reasons, felt that life was not worth living after the situation with finances.  Wow, how heartbreaking and eyeopening.

Several years ago, Dave was working on a pilot series for CBS.  Early on in that process he appeared on Oprah.  I recorded the show to see what it was like thinking that Dave may have the possibility of being on there regularly.  That thought quickly disappeared, as Dave strongly criticized a couple for their situation and suggested that one spouse, I believe it was the wife, owed the husband an apology for not being honest with her spouse in how she was handling/handled money and the impact on the husband when he learned the amount of debt that they were now in.  Dave was politely scolded by Oprah and informed that the apology was not in order.  Dave was right.

Regularly, I meet with clients who share their financial secrets with their spouse.  Sometimes it is in my office, sometimes they come to my office as a result.  The impact is not fun and it is not needed.  Unfortunately, confidentiality prevents me from sharing many of the situations I see.  It is not my intention to make it more painful than what it already is.

Keeping financial secrets from our spouses can be fatal to a marriage.  Trust is huge and having trust in our finances is one of things that every couple MUST have.

What is it like in your relationship?  Where are you headed?  Is it time to come clean and get on the right path?

Recently, I spent some time working with a client and we were talking about building an emergency fund.  That fund, sometimes known as a rainy day fund, is in place to help us get through troubling times and survive.  Those troubling times come under many variations.  A job loss, loss of a family member, a reduction in salary, the loss of a major appliance, a fire, a major illness – and the list can go on and on.  All of us have examples of what may be classified as an emergency.

As we discussed this, I made the statement that I am not paranoid, but I am just prepared.  Having an emergency fund in place will NOT prevent emergencies from happening, but that fund being in place definately changes the way that we approach the impact of the situation.

Many Americans have experienced emergency conditions in the last year or two.  Many never fathomed the thought of taking furlough days.  They never thought that they would get sick.  They never imagined not being able to make a mortgage or car payment.  Reality is tough!

Emergencies are going to happen – in your life and mine.  How prepared you are for them will direct how you attack them.  Are you prepared?  I am, but I am not paranoid.

Let me start by saying that, YES, they really do think that you are crazy.  They think you are stupid, irresponsible and dependent on them.   Ok, I answered that question from the title, but the real quesiton is what are they thinking of.

Who am I talking about?  Your U.S. Representative and Senators.  Most of each spring and summer in the Congress is preparing spending budgets for the upcoming year, in this case 2011.  That fiscal year begins on October 1, 2010 and runs through September 30, 2011.  However, in this year of massive deficit spending, the talk now is that there will not be any budget bills this year!  One report is from CBS News and the other from the office of the minority leader.

The president submitted his budget request in February and it is yet to be reviewed and approved by the Congress.

Why?  That is precisely why an article with this content is posted on a personal finance website.  A budget or, if you prefer, a spending plan keeps us on track to spend according to 1) our income and 2) our plan that we agree and march to.  Wow, with the spending that comes from Washington, why would they want to have a budget?  If you are as numb and dumb as they perceive you to be, you will never care about what they are doing.

Most states are constitutionally obligated to have a balanced budget.  In my home state of Georgia, the bulk of the latest legislative session was to balance the state’s budget while facing a dwindling income projection.  Tough work that we voted these people in the position to do.

But what about “out of control” Washington?  Why are they not required to live under the same budgetary restrictions that you and your family are required to do?  Simply put, they spend more than what they have coming in.  They have no financial plan and, honestly, are bankrupting all of us.  Living under a plan of money management might destroy their plan of getting reelected.

If you ran a business like the Congress manages our money, your business would likely fail and fail quickly.  If members of Congress, irrespective of their party, ran your business as your CFO and handled your business money like they handle our national finances – how long would you keep them in that position?

Many households are doing just what the congressional leadership is doing – no budget.  Is that is you?  How is that working for you?  Have you been learning from them?  You need a new teacher and they need a new job.

Over the last year, financial institutions have been looking for additional ways to make money after the laws were put in place to “protect” the American consumer.  Congress decided that they were going to fix the problem of credit card companies taking advantage of people who had charged on their personally held and signed up for charge card.  Complaints of excessive interest rates, fees and the like from voting citizens made congress act.

Today, people are still carrying the cards.  You may even be one of them.  BEWARE!!  Credit companies are implementing new ways to get money from you and, at the same time, getting around the credit card legislation.

Walletpop.com, this week, has an article that describes some of these new and old fees that are now being put in place or being put back in place.   Here are a few of the most absurd ones that you should look out for.

Annual fee.  This was common for so many years, depending on the card, but not enforced as consumers complained.  It is making a come back now.  Let me see, you want me to use your card, pay you interest, pay you late fees when I am just a few minutes late in paying and, all the time, you will take your annual fee upfront?  Ummm, no thanks!

Paper statement fees?  Really, who get a paper statement anymore?  Many people would be the right answer.  Junk email, spam, phishing and all the emails from aunt Sue clutter our inbox.  You do not want the Amex bill to be lost in there.  So, you want a paper statement mailed to you.  They can do that.  That will be a charge.  No kidding!

Reward redemption and recovery fees.  That right!  All those points you were using can be used on whatever redemption you want.  There may now be a charge for that.

Reward recovery fees are one of my favorite.  If you are late with your payment, charged a fee and the interest, but now you can “recover” your reward points.  Would you like me to add that to your card?

What’s in your wallet?

Yesterday reports hit the news about the growing number of U.S. mortgage foreclosures for this year.  It is frightening to know that we are on track to foreclose on more than 1,000,000 houses this year(2010).  So far this year, over 528,000 families have been affected.  Even more frightening is that there were 900,000 affected in 2009.  I will not cite an article here.  The stories are in any newspaper or website that reports real news.

It is a tough fight when you fall behind on you mortgage.  Many are realizing that now and are trying to salvage the house they have lived and invested in for what may be years.

Just this past week, WXIA, channel 11 in Atlanta reported that foreclosures are now hitting the “rich”.  The number of million dollar homes being foreclosed on has increased and it led that station to report that the recession and foreclosure problem has now hit the “rich”.  I will not write about it here, but living in a million dollar plus home does not make you rich.  It may make you a lot of things, but it is not necessarily rich.

Are you affected?  Are you feeling that you may be soon?  If you are, stop and focus on the four areas you need to maintain focus on in times of financial crisis – mortgage(rent), utilities, transportation and rent.  Those four areas should be you primary financial fight.  Everything else should be prioritized based upon true NEED and paid for ONLY when those things can be afforded.  That may mean no one gets a birthday gift (they will survive), your hair does not get “done” every month, you are not buying new clothes just “because” and you may miss some credit card payments.  FOCUS on the four items of survival.

For those of you in trouble or feeling you may be headed to trouble – contact your mortgage company for assistance.  They may be able to creatively assist you to weather the storm or you may qualify for a mortgage loan modification.  It never hurts to ask and get the help you need before you get a notice of “sale”.

A couple of days ago, one of my client couples came to visit for the last time as part of their program.   I really wish every client left my programs just like this, but is most cases they do not.  This client came bearing a gift.

They informed me, while I was opening the bag, that they had to use their credit card for the gift.  Talk about mixed emotions!  What they gave to me was well worth them using their credit card.

To be honest, like so many of my clients, I really wondered whether they could make the change.  I know what it is like on the other side of debt and poor financial management, but I wonder if others will ever feel it on this side.  This client was no different.  In fact, back in April of this year I was not sure they would ever come back.  They did and they came back committed to make a difference in their lives.  The “thank you” card they wrote me shared that they have been fighting their money problem for 22 years.  How long for you?

Since that April re-committment day, life has hit them hard with things that they did not expect.  When they re-committed they did not know everything that they would face in the days, weeks and months coming.  They can, now, face those things with a new sense of success.

Since April they have paid off seven credit cards!!  Yes, seven.  They still have more to go, but they should pay off another three over the next 2-3 months.  Wow!  I am so proud of them.  I am proud of their success and proud of the gift they gave me.  How does it look to you?  It looks good in my office!